Looking after yourself as a parent carer
Support you can access yourself
On this page
Self-care tips
Taking care of yourself matters. You may get help from other people, but you also need time to look after yourself.
Self-care does not have to mean doing something big. Small things can help. You could have a cup of tea, read a book, spend time with your pet or listen to something you enjoy.
These small moments can help you feel better and cope with caring.
Find more self-care tips and ideas from the organisations below. They can help you fit self-care around your caring responsibilities
Build a support network
Oxfordshire Parent Carers Forum offers peer support, advice and information about young people with SEND. It runs regular meetings, group chats and workshops. These give parents a chance to talk about worries, share ideas and support each other.
SENDIASS also runs drop-in sessions. These help parents meet others and share their experiences. Parents with lived SEND experience can volunteer as Independent Parental Supporters (IPS). They support other families.
There are other support groups you can access to meet others in similar situations.
Parent carers' emotional wellbeing
Even with good support, caring can feel overwhelming. The emotional impact can build over time. You may feel low, anxious or burned out.
You are not alone, and it is okay to ask for help. If things feel too much, support is available.
If you feel close to a crisis, seek help straight away.
Talking helps
Talking to someone can help you process your thoughts and feel less alone.
Whether it is a friend or a professional, reaching out is a sign of strength.
Oxfordshire Talking Therapies has self-help guides, courses, webinars and links to other information and advice.
If you need more support with your mental health, you can refer yourself for help. A professional can support you. You can also speak to your GP.
Oxfordshire Mind offers support and advice. It also provides resources for your mental health. It is not part of the Local Area Partnership.
Reading Well
Reading Well for mental health is a collection of books. These books help you understand and cope with difficult feelings. Health professionals choose the books because they are helpful.
You can borrow them from your local library. Some are also available as e-books or audiobooks. The Reading Agency runs the programme. It is a national charity and not part of the Local Area Partnership.
Managing relationship conflict
Family life can be challenging. All relationships take time and effort.
Disagreements between parents are normal. Arguments happen in most families. But when they happen more often or feel harder to resolve, they can affect everyone.
Support is available. It is okay to ask for help for you, your children and your family.
LCSS Early Help brings local services together. They work with you to support your family. They aim to deal with worries early. This helps you get the right support at the right time.
You can find more support in the Family Information Service Directory. It includes services that help strengthening family relationships.
Carers assessment
Anyone can become a carer. It does not matter how old you are, your gender or your background.
The care you provide could be short-term or long-term. You may or may not live with the person you are a carer for.
A carer's assessment looks at what support you need. It helps you look after yourself and stay safe while caring.
You can get free support from Carers Oxfordshire. To qualify, you must be 18 or over. You must also care for someone without pay.
Working flexibly and taking time off – your rights
Caring for a child with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) can affect your work. You may need time off for appointments or review meetings.
You have the right to ask for flexible working. This is called a statutory request.
Some reasons are protected by law, such as caring for a child or having a disability.
You can also take time off in an emergency. This is to care for a dependent. This type of leave is usually unpaid. Your rights depend on your employment status. For example, you may be an employee or a worker.
Citizens Advice can help you understand your options. It offers free, independent advice on work, money, benefits, housing, and energy.
Unpaid parental leave
Employees can ask their employers for information about unpaid parental leave. If eligible, parents can take up to 18 weeks of unpaid leave for each child until the child turns 18.
Parents usually need to take this leave in blocks of weeks. They can take up to 4 weeks per child per year.
If the child receives Disability Living Allowance or Personal Independence Payment, the leave can be taken in blocks of days or hours.
Unpaid carer's leave
Employees can ask their employers for information about unpaid carer's leave. If eligible, employees with a dependant who needs long-term care can take one week's carer's leave each year.
They can use this time to provide or arrange care. They must notify their employer before their leave starts.
Support for siblings
Some children with a disabled brother or sister help a lot at home. When children or young people regularly help with caring for their siblings or parent carers, they're called young carers.
The organisations listed below are not part of the Local Area Partnership, and the list is non-exhaustive.
Other support organisations are available on the Family Information Service Directory.
- Young Carers Oxfordshire has information and support for young carers so they can also have time for themselves.
- Be Free Young Carers is an Oxfordshire charity that supports children and teenagers ages 8-17 who care for loved ones.
- Swings and Smiles supports young people ages 0 to 18 with a wide range of disabilities and additional needs.
- Honeypot is a national charity that supports young carers aged 5 to 12. Providing respite breaks and a holistic range of services.
- Sibs is a charity that helps brothers and sisters of children with disabilities or special needs. It offers advice and support for siblings. It also runs Young Sibs, a website where children can chat with others. They can also ask an adviser questions.
Activities that families can do together
Parents with a child with SEND may struggle to find activities that all their kids can enjoy together.
The Oxfordshire Family Information Service Directory offer a calendar of events.
The Maxcard discount card is also available for families of SEND and Children We Care For.